It's Sunday.
It's a quarter till 6pm.
It has been a super sucky weekend, ending a super frantic turned sucky week.
I am tired and frustrated. I feel helpless and depressed.
Wednesday night I was with Mia and was leaving her place to go visit a friend that was in the hospital. This friend only had visitor's till 9pm and it was 7:30pm. I was not paying attention as I rushed back out her door and down her porch steps. I missed the last 2 steps. I stumbled. I fell. ON my right ankle. I heard it crunch. I screamed.
I was in SO MUCH pain. I had never felt such pain after a fall before. I got scared. I knew it was really bad from the very moment I heard it crunch.
I went to the E.R. they wrapped it and gave me crutches (They took no address or insurance information from me, I am scared to see this bill...should it ever get to me) and was told to follow up with my doctor the next day. I did. She also did not want to commit to the ankle being broken, she said let's plan for it to be broken and then if it's not it'll be good news! Go to the ortho doctor she says. Went to him the next day (this whole time people that I am relating this tale to are freaking out about how I haven't had it set yet and this is day 2...well, are you able to get a referral and a specialist appointment in 24 hours? Anyway, it's besides the point, but this is going to be a whiny post cause I have had a sucky week and have been surrounded by stupid people). Can I just say sarcastically that the best part of this whole thing is I was completely sober. That I have had nights, all dressed up and wearing way too high shoes, so drunk I couldn't see, and I have survived those totally unscathed. That I had on Doc Martens oxfords, and had not one drink or smoke or drug in my body, and simply due to being anxiousness and being rushed I fucked over the next month of my life...
Ortho doctor says there could very well be a hairline fracture in there, in a weird place. Other than that it is acutely sprained, muscles torn, deeply bruised. Gave me a "Walking Boot" and told me elevation and ice, stay off it as much as possible. I went home and did just that. I have done that Saturday (except to get ready to go out to a much needed girls night out Saturday that was canceled...), and I did that today (other than to go out to breakfast with girls I was supposed to have girls night with last night). I am so tired, and bored and frustrated. I can't walk at all. I love that I have been home, but I am not sure I will get paid for not coming in Friday, and I know I won't get paid for taking the last half of Thursday off. So, this whole ordeal has become uber expensive and I have just sat on my ass with ice on my ankle. It wasn't like I was getting cleaning or projects done.
This is SD's last weekend of summer vacation, and I wanted to be able to help her pack food, and get ready. I wanted to start a whole new page after having an amazing party weekend with friends and instead I am just gonna try and survive the week, again. My partner is exhausted, he has done my laundry, his laundry, helped move the last of his daughter's stuff in, taken me to all doctor's appoints, carried me to and from the car when needed and slept next to my huge booted foot and will be driving everywhere till I can drive again. I can't drive...I also have to take this paragraph to give a shout out to Mia, who stayed calm, went with me to visit our friend in the hospital and then waited 3 hours for me to come out of the E.R. so she could drive back to my place, pick up my partner and then drive back to her place where I left the truck. All on a school night!
I TOTALLY get that I will heal. Probably fast because I am in very good health and take care of myself. I understand that I will probably be walking in my walking boot next weekend and the weekend after that the ortho doctor will X-Ray it and probably tell me I am close to healed. I understand that this is probably about a month out of my life. But, still, THIS IS A MONTH OUT OF MY LIFE!! GRRR...This will test me...
I actually have to remind myself that this week didn't start out sucky,
that last weekend I got to spend 3 days in a row with a very dear friend
of mine out from the east coast. That I got to say good-bye to that
friend this morning at breakfast and for these things I am blessed.
I will use this to make me stronger, and be inspiring and I know I am resilient and I will rise above. I KNOW this. But, my week still sucked really bad and the upcoming week is gonna suck really bad, and I needed to vent.
Thanks for the ear.
Done now. Moving on.
♥
