Less Stress

Hello again!

Wow how the time has gotten away from me, I can't believe it has been a week! It's Christmas time though and everyone is a little more distracted right now. I am making it good distractions though, deciding to live and enjoy the present moment.

I saw the doctor again on Friday, for a follow up on last months appointment. She says I still seem tense, and wants me to consider going back on anxiety meds. Lexapro to be exact. I took Lexapro for a long time, to the point I didn't think it was doing anything for me anymore. I was sick of rushing all the way across town for a silly little pill that was supposed to help even out my mood. No one was teaching me to make permanent changes to my mindset, they were just handing me pills. So it had to be stopped, and after tapering the dose down for about a month, it did.

I felt as though the window of my mind had been wiped clean, I felt, clearer. I was also just a little on edge, and didn't really have time for it. I jump the gun and get emotional before it's called for. Or assume the worst and freak. And so yeah, I'm on edge. But I hate having to rely on anything on a daily basis to make me feel normal. It sucks. I'm not talking about like, food and water.

So I am on a mission. A mission to re-learn how to deal with stress.
To be honest, I never learned this in the first place, both my parents are really really bad at it. My mother just lived her life in complete fear, she did very little and none of what she did was in accordance with her dreams of what life should be. She was also very swayed by what others thought of her. I have seen this in me too, if someone disapproves I will change my way of thinking and that is very far from right. If I think it won't work, or I have to talk to too many people I will re-think what I want to do. Gotta get over it!

So, #1 is living without fear.

To be continued.....!