Tired today.
Drained.
I don't want to sit here in cubical nation and try to concentrate on business, but I've taken too many sick days lately, and it's only the 8th day of the year...I need to save some in case I get sick again this year. Though, I really, really hope that doesn't happen. Back to back illness in under a month, I pray I'm done for 2013. I really want to spend the rest of this year making myself strong and determined. I was already so tired of feeling lost, weak and emotional. To add physically ill to the mix for the last month has kicked me in the butt. It sucks. I want to be done.
I'd like to save those remaining sick days for playing hooky. Long mornings spent laying in bed with the man I love. Having sex and then lazily wandering to the living room to drink coffee and smoke. Putting gas in the truck and driving up the coast to listen to the waves hit the shore and sip spiked lemonade under the sun...
Other days. Different days. Future days.
Not today.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Monday, January 7, 2013
New post about no new posts
Nothing this weekend. No happy song or rant or rave.
It was a really low-key weekend.
I've been sick. Still am. Got sick after my first Bootcamp class way back on December 10th and have pretty much been sick since. There was a small reprieve where I thought I might be better, then woke up sick Jan. 2nd. It's a huge bummer. Bootcamp resumes today and I won't be going due to still not being entirely well. I don't want to push it and end up sicker, or all over again. It's an awful flu/sick with fever and sweats and headache and runny nose and cough and dizziness. I've spent 3 days out of the office on it. I can't afford more. I just got my vacation days at work, but the sick days come in in October, and I don't want to use up more this early in the year. So, I am just going to sit at my desk and be a fat lump of a human and feel my tight blouse and tight slacks suffocate me.
There were wins to the weekend. I did meditate BOTH days and last night got The Man to sit don and try it for 8 and a half minutes with me! YEAH!! Fucking SCORE! I realize that I haven't explained how huge this is previously, but it is a really big deal to me that he even gave it a try and he also said he would be willing to try it again. It made me really happy.
Other win was finally deciding to start using Proactive for my hurting, gross, acne covered skin, it's day 3 and it does actually look better. I'm not getting my hopes up, as I know I should never do that, but it does look better already.
3rd win was went to the Fantastic Sam's across the street from my place and got my hair cut. This place had horrible reviews and I was really skeptical when I walked into a room of woman eating and talking in the back and not being greeted or really consulted about my hair. But, it turned out really nice! I love the way it looks now!
I also had a lovely visit with my older sister for my birthday and received some birthday money from her which will pay for a massage I am in desperate need of this coming weekend and will help pay for the dye job on my hair. :)
So, despite being sick and fat, life's not all bad.
It was a really low-key weekend.
I've been sick. Still am. Got sick after my first Bootcamp class way back on December 10th and have pretty much been sick since. There was a small reprieve where I thought I might be better, then woke up sick Jan. 2nd. It's a huge bummer. Bootcamp resumes today and I won't be going due to still not being entirely well. I don't want to push it and end up sicker, or all over again. It's an awful flu/sick with fever and sweats and headache and runny nose and cough and dizziness. I've spent 3 days out of the office on it. I can't afford more. I just got my vacation days at work, but the sick days come in in October, and I don't want to use up more this early in the year. So, I am just going to sit at my desk and be a fat lump of a human and feel my tight blouse and tight slacks suffocate me.
There were wins to the weekend. I did meditate BOTH days and last night got The Man to sit don and try it for 8 and a half minutes with me! YEAH!! Fucking SCORE! I realize that I haven't explained how huge this is previously, but it is a really big deal to me that he even gave it a try and he also said he would be willing to try it again. It made me really happy.
Other win was finally deciding to start using Proactive for my hurting, gross, acne covered skin, it's day 3 and it does actually look better. I'm not getting my hopes up, as I know I should never do that, but it does look better already.
3rd win was went to the Fantastic Sam's across the street from my place and got my hair cut. This place had horrible reviews and I was really skeptical when I walked into a room of woman eating and talking in the back and not being greeted or really consulted about my hair. But, it turned out really nice! I love the way it looks now!
I also had a lovely visit with my older sister for my birthday and received some birthday money from her which will pay for a massage I am in desperate need of this coming weekend and will help pay for the dye job on my hair. :)
So, despite being sick and fat, life's not all bad.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Favorites this week
Monday, December 31, 2012
The Obligotory end of year post
Have
a safe, warm, happy, fun night tonight and an amazing, peaceful, and healthy
2013!
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Saturday Happy Song - Christmas Edition
It's Saturday, it's Christmas weekend. It's been lazy, but not in ways I was wishing for. Tree trimmers were outside my apartment building at 8am...I was so pissed, I so looked forward to sleeping in. Are you all ready for Christmas? All the shopping done? the presents wrapped? the cookies baked? Yeah, me neither. This is going to be one busy, but festive and merry weekend.
Last year was a bit depressing and dark. We've decided to embrace the season this year, and I think it's a very wise choice. I couldn't deal at all last year, and while this one hasn't been all roses and chocolate, it's nice to be more festive. To create new traditions and memories. It's a vital part of moving forward with one's life.
On Tuesday I went to lunch at CityWalk with 2 work comrades. 2 I used to have regular lunch dates with, but haven't in a while due to my exercise routine, which has lapsed completely, but that's a different rant. Any-how we got to talking about Christmas Music when one said they hated it, and I agreed, and then we scrutinized this statement further and realized there are a few songs we do like. I do enjoy Mannheim Steamroller, and Trans Siberian Orchestra, though the comrades didn't completely agree. I most enjoy Carol of the Bells by both bands, as that is my sole favorite Christmas song. I thought. As we wandered back to work we passed shops playing Christmas music the whole way, and The Waitresses " Christmas Wrapping" was being piped out of one place. Angie and I love that song we both said at the same time! I then mentioned The Kinks Father Christmas, which is currently being used in a Google Chrome commercial. I got to thinking that there a few, albeit more alternative, but still...Christmas songs I actually do enjoy. Listed below for your listening pleasure. Happy Saturday!
Last year was a bit depressing and dark. We've decided to embrace the season this year, and I think it's a very wise choice. I couldn't deal at all last year, and while this one hasn't been all roses and chocolate, it's nice to be more festive. To create new traditions and memories. It's a vital part of moving forward with one's life.
On Tuesday I went to lunch at CityWalk with 2 work comrades. 2 I used to have regular lunch dates with, but haven't in a while due to my exercise routine, which has lapsed completely, but that's a different rant. Any-how we got to talking about Christmas Music when one said they hated it, and I agreed, and then we scrutinized this statement further and realized there are a few songs we do like. I do enjoy Mannheim Steamroller, and Trans Siberian Orchestra, though the comrades didn't completely agree. I most enjoy Carol of the Bells by both bands, as that is my sole favorite Christmas song. I thought. As we wandered back to work we passed shops playing Christmas music the whole way, and The Waitresses " Christmas Wrapping" was being piped out of one place. Angie and I love that song we both said at the same time! I then mentioned The Kinks Father Christmas, which is currently being used in a Google Chrome commercial. I got to thinking that there a few, albeit more alternative, but still...Christmas songs I actually do enjoy. Listed below for your listening pleasure. Happy Saturday!
Friday, December 21, 2012
A life without storms
"I long ago abandoned the notion of a life without storms, or a world
without dry and killing seasons. Life is too complicated, too constantly
changing, to be anything but what it is. And I am, by nature, too
mercurial to be anything but deeply wary of the grave unnaturalness
involved in any attempt to exert too much control over essentially
uncontrollable forces. There will always be propelling, disturbing
elements, and they will be there until, as Lowell put it, the watch is
taken from the wrist. It is, at the end of the day, the individual
moments of restlessness, of bleakness, of strong persuasions and
maddened enthusiasms, that inform one's life, change the nature and
direction of one's work, and give final meaning and color to one's loves
and friendships." ~Kay Redfield Jamison
Thursday, December 20, 2012
The Work
"I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when
I didn't believe them, I didn't suffer, and that this is true for every human
being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found
a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment. That joy
is in everyone, always." — Byron Katie
http://thework.com/thework.php
http://thework.com/thework.php
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