oh the slump

I have been lazy. Very lazy. The last 3 days I have sat about and recouped, from nothing.

Well, I guess that's not entirely true. Friday was huge, and by the end I was tired...So I totally deserved my weekend of nothing right? And the weekend wasn't all nothing....

OK!

I feel better, I just talked myself out of feeling bad about how lazy I was this weekend, cause I wasn't really all that lazy! Yey me!

Friday I drove my younger sister to the doctor, 2 doctors actually. One in Torrance, and the other in Santa Monica. It took all day to go back and forth, but I like driving so it was OK. We had a break in between to have lunch at my place, and watch South Park. That night The Man and I were trying to figure out what we wanted to do, when a friend called to ask if we were going to The Dickies show at Knitting Factory in Hollywood that night. We weren't, we are currently broke. and you know what he said?

HE WOULD BUY OUR TICKETS!

Eeeep!

I was so stoked! I love The Dickies. Love. Love. Love. The Dickies. It was an amazing show. I danced on the edge of the pit all night long. I was so exhausted the next day I just spaced out in front of the TV. My whole Saturday was spent that way. It was bliss.

Yesterday I went and danced again, this time in class. I have photos cause we went out to dinner after. I'll post them later.

So my weekend rocked! Yey! I'm glad I came to tell you all about it or I may have hated myself for it all day. I am thankful for good friends, good music, and dance. So so thankful I can dance.

~Syd

Gone exploring

"Every man has in himself a continent of undiscovered character. Happy is he who acts as the Columbus to his own soul."


~Sir J. Stephen

WOW

It's been awhile, and has the time flown right out the window! The last 2 weeks have been especially bad, and are getting worse in the time warp department. You see, I was laid off my job 2 weeks ago, and it has gone into the realm of weird as far as the hours I have been keeping. On the up side I am at least very creative and have stayed motivated. I started taking the apartment apart 2 nights ago and have since gotten rid of a third of my possessions! Yay for liberation of clutter! If I wasn't running out of money fast this would be fun! Sadly, I am really broke, and the job search isn't panning out...and I'm not sure what to do about it. The Man isn't working right now either, so we have gotten creative on how to come up with money. None of that has worked either.

Although I should probably be more worried, I'm not. It's all gonna work out, somehow. I was dyeing in that office, no matter how nice the people were, I needed something more challenging. And you know, I'm not sure I'll find it in an office. I want to be so much more than I am, and that was hard to do with the excuse that I was too tired from work to do anything I wanted to do. I was reporting to a company I didn't really care about to file their paperwork, that I really didn't care about, while I daydreamed about what else I could be doing. Wow, really long run on sentences when you have a beer and a bowl with lunch. Haha!

So the last two weeks I have worked on photoshop tutorials, pulled apart all my stuff, applied for post production jobs I am wildly under-qualified for, gone out on a casting audition for extra work, defrosted my freezer, fed a friends cat for 4 days, melted in his hot tub, and gotten really baked. Yay! Let's here it for forced vacation!

The Thing

"The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen."


~Frank Loyd Wright

Avoidance

SO!

Hello!

Wow, I am horribly lame aren't I?
I haven't updated anything in a long while now, I have been in a funk. A deep funk, a funk that has touched and funkafide everything else it has touched. Bluh. But you know what? It's over. I have decided it's over. I feel relieved, and sometimes a bit silly. I was always in control of how I felt, but the last month and a half (eee gads man, how long?) has just slipped by in a blur. I have felt a mess of emotions that I didn't know what to do with, and it just all sucked. I get this way sometimes, and it can get to be a hard spot to get out of. I work on it daily, and have been a little overwhelmed.

The thing is, I don't know why I avoid all the aspects of my life that I like while I am down. That is exactly what I have done, and it made it so much worse. Why did I avoid blogging? I like blogging, I might actually get better at it if I practiced and stuff huh? But I don't, I feed the depression monster. Think all the worst things, eating all the worst things, moping about. I have continued to go to classes ( I take Indonesian dance, and kundalini yoga), and have reminded myself to keep my head up...but I haven't done anything about my life....

I had a great yoga class last night, it was all about breaking through whats holding you back. We did an exercise where we formed a little cup with our hands, in front of our chests. Then we looked down into the cup, and thought about all the mean things we think everyday. The point was to really make a connection to those feelings, to really feel them. So I churned up all the things I hate about myself, how stupid I feel, how I have no motivation, how I hate my life. Then, we we vibrated our lips, in order to "spit" our bad thoughts out into our hands. And you know what?

It worked.

I don't know how, but it did. I am amazed!

The power of the mind is very great, I feel truly blessed to connect to it. I need to meditate a lot more often, and write. I resolve to do this everyday, if only for 5 minutes.

I will be back with an update soon.

OH! And get outside, it's SPRING!


~Syd

Work that into the ground

"You cannot be peaceful and at the same time blame others." -From the Don't Sweat the Small Stuff Calander


Still trying to keep my chin up. Is it in the air? Can you see it there? Is it covered in hair?...Hair? What? No!

The above is so true, but that is not what disrupts my peace. It is the opposite actually, I blame myself for everything. I feel like everything is my fault, like I have messed up so much. Of course it doesn't help that there are a few people that confirm this for me...and then there is guilt that they are right, and then I get depressed, then I mope around. Nothing gets done and then I feel guilty, the cycle repeats itself over and over.

I have to figure out how to end this. I need a fucking whole life makeover. To do that, I feel like I need 24 more hours in every day. I only get so much reading done on the subject, and not all of it is then put to use. So forgive me dear readers, as I embark on a whole other side project to the side projects in my life. I am gonna be here to update you on my progress, hopefully as soon as tomorrow.

~Sydney

Friday Favorites

Hello again my lovelies!

Well, I have been gone for a bit; did you miss me?
There was a really big project I needed to focus on, and I did that. I needed to work on a bunch of other stuff too, and the time got away from me. Then the project got put on hold by it most important player (my father) and then The Man and I had a big, nasty, draining fight...and it has taken me this long to get my chin back up. I have been feeling really down for the last couple of weeks, and really tired. I am really tired now too, I want a nap. Instead I am gonna grab a drink with my friend Richie, and enjoy the start of my weekend. Then I'll nap.

So here is what I found interesting this week on that crazy, wonderful, inspiring place we call the Internet:

♥ Super Kawaii Mama has a great new feature she is doing called Dear Weekend. I really like this idea, I am not real good at the making lists thing yet (must channel inner Virgo), but this makes it so much more fun!

♥ The Steampunk community is always coming up with new and crazier idea for how to look cool. Take this Guitar for example, or this awesome chicken mask deal, or these awesome goggles! Awesome...!

♥ I love tutorials! I just decided that this week, because of these tutorials. I finished the blue glow one, I can't wait to do the rest!

Gotta run!

Have a great weekend!

~Sydney