The Thing

"The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen."


~Frank Loyd Wright

Avoidance

SO!

Hello!

Wow, I am horribly lame aren't I?
I haven't updated anything in a long while now, I have been in a funk. A deep funk, a funk that has touched and funkafide everything else it has touched. Bluh. But you know what? It's over. I have decided it's over. I feel relieved, and sometimes a bit silly. I was always in control of how I felt, but the last month and a half (eee gads man, how long?) has just slipped by in a blur. I have felt a mess of emotions that I didn't know what to do with, and it just all sucked. I get this way sometimes, and it can get to be a hard spot to get out of. I work on it daily, and have been a little overwhelmed.

The thing is, I don't know why I avoid all the aspects of my life that I like while I am down. That is exactly what I have done, and it made it so much worse. Why did I avoid blogging? I like blogging, I might actually get better at it if I practiced and stuff huh? But I don't, I feed the depression monster. Think all the worst things, eating all the worst things, moping about. I have continued to go to classes ( I take Indonesian dance, and kundalini yoga), and have reminded myself to keep my head up...but I haven't done anything about my life....

I had a great yoga class last night, it was all about breaking through whats holding you back. We did an exercise where we formed a little cup with our hands, in front of our chests. Then we looked down into the cup, and thought about all the mean things we think everyday. The point was to really make a connection to those feelings, to really feel them. So I churned up all the things I hate about myself, how stupid I feel, how I have no motivation, how I hate my life. Then, we we vibrated our lips, in order to "spit" our bad thoughts out into our hands. And you know what?

It worked.

I don't know how, but it did. I am amazed!

The power of the mind is very great, I feel truly blessed to connect to it. I need to meditate a lot more often, and write. I resolve to do this everyday, if only for 5 minutes.

I will be back with an update soon.

OH! And get outside, it's SPRING!


~Syd

Work that into the ground

"You cannot be peaceful and at the same time blame others." -From the Don't Sweat the Small Stuff Calander


Still trying to keep my chin up. Is it in the air? Can you see it there? Is it covered in hair?...Hair? What? No!

The above is so true, but that is not what disrupts my peace. It is the opposite actually, I blame myself for everything. I feel like everything is my fault, like I have messed up so much. Of course it doesn't help that there are a few people that confirm this for me...and then there is guilt that they are right, and then I get depressed, then I mope around. Nothing gets done and then I feel guilty, the cycle repeats itself over and over.

I have to figure out how to end this. I need a fucking whole life makeover. To do that, I feel like I need 24 more hours in every day. I only get so much reading done on the subject, and not all of it is then put to use. So forgive me dear readers, as I embark on a whole other side project to the side projects in my life. I am gonna be here to update you on my progress, hopefully as soon as tomorrow.

~Sydney

Friday Favorites

Hello again my lovelies!

Well, I have been gone for a bit; did you miss me?
There was a really big project I needed to focus on, and I did that. I needed to work on a bunch of other stuff too, and the time got away from me. Then the project got put on hold by it most important player (my father) and then The Man and I had a big, nasty, draining fight...and it has taken me this long to get my chin back up. I have been feeling really down for the last couple of weeks, and really tired. I am really tired now too, I want a nap. Instead I am gonna grab a drink with my friend Richie, and enjoy the start of my weekend. Then I'll nap.

So here is what I found interesting this week on that crazy, wonderful, inspiring place we call the Internet:

♥ Super Kawaii Mama has a great new feature she is doing called Dear Weekend. I really like this idea, I am not real good at the making lists thing yet (must channel inner Virgo), but this makes it so much more fun!

♥ The Steampunk community is always coming up with new and crazier idea for how to look cool. Take this Guitar for example, or this awesome chicken mask deal, or these awesome goggles! Awesome...!

♥ I love tutorials! I just decided that this week, because of these tutorials. I finished the blue glow one, I can't wait to do the rest!

Gotta run!

Have a great weekend!

~Sydney

You

"There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you."

-David Burns, Intimate Connections






Picture by Warwick Goble

Saturday Happy Song

Hello!



How is every one's weekend going? I am cleaning up my apartment, it is such a mess. I am working on my desk, and the living room in general. But, I think it is going to take longer than I originally planned.



I had a magical night with The Man, and he inspired this video post. It's one of our love songs, by Hanoi Rocks. I know, it's an 80's hair band from Finland, but we like all kind of weird stuff. And this song will forever make me swoon! Eeeep!



So get out those legwarmers guys, and enjoy!



And Mr. Man, don't you ever leave me babe!

"I have a theory...

picture

...that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.

I will have the Friday links up a little later today, I think, I am gonna go home and have a drink.

I have enjoyed a drink after work every night this week... I am a little stressed. So that is why I am doing this post now, lest I forget. Because if I do I will be all pissed at myself, and that is really counter productive to this whole loving myself thing I am working on.

4 years ago today, Hunter S. Thompson decided he was done with this plane of existence and ended his life. He died the way he lived, on his terms.

Hunter was a little bit crazy, a little bit gifted, and a huge lover of life. He did it all, just to see how it felt. He made no apologizes for the way he was. And although you may not agree with the way he lived, or the way he died (although I respect the man, I think suicide is a cop-out), it would be very worth while to take a look at the things he believed in. I can't begin to tell you how Hunter has shaped my way of thinking, the way I look at life, and the way I enjoy my time on this earth.

So I am going to go home and reflect for a few moments, on the greatness of Hunter. I am gonna light a candle, and raise my glass.
And so you can do the same, few links to look into:

Owl Farm Blog
Hunter's lovely wife Anita posted a beautiful poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye. My heart goes out to Anita today, I hope she is doing ok.

Totally Gonzo
Ron Mexico is a great guy, I have emailed back and forth with him a few times. I was had the honor of being picked winner of his photography contest for Hunter's birthday back in July.

And bonus a rockin article on the great life of this great man!


"No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master."