3 years gone, never forgotten

Hi guys, Happy July!

June 24th stuck in my head all day, and I couldn't figure out why, till a whole day later. The brain has been fried, I'll update you on my personal life next, this right here is important.

June 24th, 2010 is the day my friend Ila Packman was senselessly stabbed to death.

In THIS POST in December of 2012 I shared the surveillance video of the people they suspect killed Ila, or at very least have some information on his death. That post has had an increase in traffic this last week, and for the first time someone commented on it. On June 25th, and I was reminded of what the 24th was. Then others commented. All friends and loved one's of Ila's. Hi guys, nice to meet you all, so sorry this is why...

Anyhow, I have a much larger audience on a much more regular basis now, with about 75 page-views a day (I know, this isn't "a lot" or anything, but it's new to me) I am hoping more people will see this this time.

Ila's mom commented on the original post and informed that the reward is $55,000 if money happens to be something that motivates you.  She's a mom who lost her son to senseless violence if helping other humans is something that motivates you.

WATCH THIS VIDEO, then: SHARE THIS VIDEO. SHOW THIS VIDEO TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!

IF YOU KNOW SOMETHING PLEASE, PLEASE SAY SOMETHING. 


 

Funk

Funk.

And, not the good kind played by amazing people like George Clinton or Bootsy Collins...
The last 3 or so days have just been, weird. I feel weird and unmotivated and like I want to just go hide under the covers with my book and about a pound of chocolate covered marshmallows.

Fuck I love chocolate covered marshmallows.

See, and there's the other thing, I want to eat and be depressed. Not good. No. Not in the least. I fed this beast for 5 fucking months last year. It took me till March of this year to get over Christmas...I was doing so well...What now?

Last week was so much better, so much more full. I worked my ass off in like 4 classes in the gym at work, I was exhausted but felt amazing. It was the free week to try the gym and the woman I walk with encouraged me to join her in her classes. By the end, Thursday night, I thought I was gonna fall over. I wanted to go lay in a hot tub for the rest of my life.

I so looked forward to the long weekend, and so needed it when it arrived and then didn't know what to do with myself. Friday was good, ran a bunch of errands, got stuff done. Kinda...Then there was Arrested Development and reading and I got the bathroom clean and went to yoga...and completely avoided cleaning my bedroom...again.

Monday came and we tried to figure out how to spend it and I felt restless. I wanted to just go drive, drive in the sunshine and soak up the warmth and energy and fire and let it heal me and make me whole. We went and got boba at the outdoor part of the mall and got in the pool. I still hate boba by the way...I wasn't sure for a second, but nope, don't care for it. Then, I took on the bedroom. Monday evening. After texting and calling various people to distract me and failing to find anyone to save me from the stupid chore that has exploded in my head...then, at the end of cleaning the bedroom, came the putting of my fathers film and such into my closet...I took a deep breath and shoved things in fast and hard and sat with a thud on the floor and bit my lip and tried not to cry. My partner has gently suggested sorting this stuff once or twice, it came up again when I emptied a plastic bin in the closet of my belly dance costume crap, but I still haven't been able to give it enough of a go. I still can't really look at it. I still can't allow myself to process any of it, the pain washes over me and I feel like I am gonna puke...

So, I guess in this long rant I have figured out why I am in a funk. I guess we got that. But, I mean, fuck SERIOUSLY? Is this gonna happen every time I have to move my parents crap around? That exhibit of his art is gonna take me YEARS at this rate...I am so frustrated. Some days are ok, and I keep on keeping on and have hidden my parents in that dark little room in my head where it doesn't bother me that I don't have them to talk to, I'm fine, it's fine. Then, other days knock me in the head and the pain is so sharp I can't see straight.

and that feeling lasts for days. and, here we are.

“She was a genius of sadness, immersing herself in it, separating its numerous strands, appreciating its subtle nuances. She was a prism through which sadness could be divided into its infinite spectrum. “

                     
~Jonathan Safran Foer

Number 9

Mama, 2003. Quebec, Canada. In her parents living room, on her beloved younger brothers wedding day.

Nine, this is number nine.

God I miss you SO much Mama.

♥

"I have a theory...

picture

...that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.

I will have the Friday links up a little later today, I think, I am gonna go home and have a drink.

I have enjoyed a drink after work every night this week... I am a little stressed. So that is why I am doing this post now, lest I forget. Because if I do I will be all pissed at myself, and that is really counter productive to this whole loving myself thing I am working on.

4 years ago today, Hunter S. Thompson decided he was done with this plane of existence and ended his life. He died the way he lived, on his terms.

Hunter was a little bit crazy, a little bit gifted, and a huge lover of life. He did it all, just to see how it felt. He made no apologizes for the way he was. And although you may not agree with the way he lived, or the way he died (although I respect the man, I think suicide is a cop-out), it would be very worth while to take a look at the things he believed in. I can't begin to tell you how Hunter has shaped my way of thinking, the way I look at life, and the way I enjoy my time on this earth.

So I am going to go home and reflect for a few moments, on the greatness of Hunter. I am gonna light a candle, and raise my glass.
And so you can do the same, few links to look into:

Owl Farm Blog
Hunter's lovely wife Anita posted a beautiful poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye. My heart goes out to Anita today, I hope she is doing ok.

Totally Gonzo
Ron Mexico is a great guy, I have emailed back and forth with him a few times. I was had the honor of being picked winner of his photography contest for Hunter's birthday back in July.

And bonus a rockin article on the great life of this great man!


"No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master."

Cramped

The punk/goth/alternative/rockabilly/add label here community mourns the loss of The Cramps front man Lux Interior today.
There are differing reports of his age, and birth year but it is agreed upon the he was in his 60's and was claimed by a pre-existing heart condition. He leaves behind wife and Cramps guitar player Poison Ivy.
The internet is rife with stories, memories, and tributes to this amazing and eccentric man.
I don't have one to add, my sadness being that although I grew up in the Kustom Kulture community, went to car shows, and punk concerts my whole life, I never got to see The Cramps play...and now I never will.
Please check the links below, awesome things being said there. My heart and thoughts go out to Poison Ivy, it must be very painful to lose someone you have loved for over 30 years. Stay strong girl, Lux is with you always now!

Rest in Peace Lux, you will be missed.

~Sydney

♥ L.A. Times

♥ Daily Burlesque

♥ Punk Turns 30

♥ The Daily Swarm

♥ Boing Boing

♥ Rolling Stone

Photo from thecramps.com