Backsliding

It was a hard week...
Thanksgiving was, hard. Thanksgiving weekend was also hard, and so for the last week and a half I have been backsliding into sadness and bad habits. It's been gloomy and rainy all week as well, which hasn't helped. I did go to belly dance last Tuesday, but that and a half-assed walk on Monday are all the exercise I did last week. I can feel myself getting fatter again.

Blah.

Gotta get back on that horse tomorrow. Back to the back lot hills, the meditation, jounal-ing, eating smart. I ate so much sugar today...

Last Monday a life changing event came to pass, and I have yet to be able to completely allow the relief wash over me. I have learned so well that any type of relief in my life that allows me to let my guard down is false. That I personally should never let my guard down, for any reason, cause it only comes back to haunt me. I have been told, by a couple people, but most noticeably by a gifted dance master I desperately wanted acceptance from, that when I let my guard down I become lazy and my work unacceptable. SO, in turn I am either anxious and over working, or I give up on any good coming from anything I do and become depressed and despondent...and now that I have articulated this in words I sound manic and crazy.

Fabulous.

SO, right now I feel fat, sad and...well, crazy.

Back on that horse tomorrow...get back on that horse.

Pink

This creature is actually helping keep me sane. ♥

Saturday Happy Song - The Avalanches - 'Frontier Psychiatrist'

Stoker Doodle

I like today's Google Doodle. It's Bram Stoker's 165th birthday today. These are the search results when you click on the doodle. I'm not sure who the artist is, but the style is reminiscent (to me) of Edward Gorey.

Let Go

(photo)

Happy Halloween!

(photo)

If I think I can, I KNOW you can.

(photo)