Avoidance

SO!

Hello!

Wow, I am horribly lame aren't I?
I haven't updated anything in a long while now, I have been in a funk. A deep funk, a funk that has touched and funkafide everything else it has touched. Bluh. But you know what? It's over. I have decided it's over. I feel relieved, and sometimes a bit silly. I was always in control of how I felt, but the last month and a half (eee gads man, how long?) has just slipped by in a blur. I have felt a mess of emotions that I didn't know what to do with, and it just all sucked. I get this way sometimes, and it can get to be a hard spot to get out of. I work on it daily, and have been a little overwhelmed.

The thing is, I don't know why I avoid all the aspects of my life that I like while I am down. That is exactly what I have done, and it made it so much worse. Why did I avoid blogging? I like blogging, I might actually get better at it if I practiced and stuff huh? But I don't, I feed the depression monster. Think all the worst things, eating all the worst things, moping about. I have continued to go to classes ( I take Indonesian dance, and kundalini yoga), and have reminded myself to keep my head up...but I haven't done anything about my life....

I had a great yoga class last night, it was all about breaking through whats holding you back. We did an exercise where we formed a little cup with our hands, in front of our chests. Then we looked down into the cup, and thought about all the mean things we think everyday. The point was to really make a connection to those feelings, to really feel them. So I churned up all the things I hate about myself, how stupid I feel, how I have no motivation, how I hate my life. Then, we we vibrated our lips, in order to "spit" our bad thoughts out into our hands. And you know what?

It worked.

I don't know how, but it did. I am amazed!

The power of the mind is very great, I feel truly blessed to connect to it. I need to meditate a lot more often, and write. I resolve to do this everyday, if only for 5 minutes.

I will be back with an update soon.

OH! And get outside, it's SPRING!


~Syd